Sometimes I think about why I am here.
Sometimes I wonder why I never got to date the girls I wanted to in Jr High or High School. I was very shy and never had a good self esteem nor felt worthy of these girls. When I did get close to getting my nerves up to as for a date with them, they disappeared. One left and went to a private school then later moved out of state. Another decided another boy was more to her liking, so she was off the list. The last one was in Senior year. This girl won the beauty contest but she was more down to earth as I once or twise gave her a ride home in my Mustang. She was playful and was flirting with me. She wanted to shift the gears in my car. She knew how to drive a stick. I never got a chance to ask her either. About the time I was going to make my move, she disappeared also. I found out she and her family moved out of town. I was shocked and really bummed out. There were other girls but they seemed way out of my league so I never even thought about asking them out. One had been going with the football star.
Well, I crawled out of high school and got a few odd jobs the last one was at a company that made haircare, lighted makeup mirrors, and a few other assorted small appliances for personal care. I was doing my usual bar hoping to find a girl I liked and I had a few "hookups" if you know what I mean. THEN I found one who hooked me in and I dated her for a while but I was not making enough money to marry her even though I was working as an operator of the highest paying job in that plant. I pondered the military as a way to get out MS and I knew the military takes care of it's people and would give me a much better living in independence. so I knew I did not like shooting guns, living in tents and hiking or marching for miles on end so the Army and Marines were out. I also could not swim so the Navy was out even tough I knew they would teach me how. THAT left the Air Force and because I loved airplane and blue was my favored color, THAT sealed the deal. Thankfully I passed the ASVAB test with flying colors, I was in. I wanted to be in photography but the recruiter who was from Alabama said there were no openings but aircraft maintenance was so I said ok then went to school for that and during school they gave us a form to fill out to where we wanted to be stationed. I put down Keesler, and Little Rock as they had C-`130s that I was training for. After school we got our orders. Mine was for Hickham AFB, HI. WHAT??? I did not put that on that form I now learned was called the "Dream Sheet". You NEVER get put where you asked to go, EVER!! It is like the demons are in the forms.
I took off to Hawaii and settled in and after a few weeks there and going places around the island of Oahu and the beaches including, of course, Waikiki. I was done with Hawaii!! It is NOT all that!! IT is hot, the sun burns and it rains sometimes and the REAL locals are NOT that friendly especially to military and haole visitors who do not have money to spend. They only deal with us because their lives depend on us for money.
After coming home to see my family and to spend time with this girl and later helping to pay her way to come visit me in Hawaii, I came home one more time and this time she made all sorts of excueses for not spending time with me. THAT DID IT especially when I met the piano player at a good friend's wedding. WE hit it off and I forgot the other girl. Well, when I got back to Hawaii we corresponded regularly and passing Bible verses back and forth as she was deeply Christian who wanted to play the piano for Billy Graham crusades. It was her dream. Well, there were some things we did not agree with plus I was still in my rebellious stag so I broke it off with her. I wish not I did not but again all things seems to happen for a reason.
I got called to CEBO (personnel operations) to pick up orders for a new assignment. Guess where that was? They airman who was giving the orders asked if I liked cold weather of warm weather. I shrugged and said I did not really care. I looked at the location and it was Dover AFB, Delaware. I asked he where that was. He said it was it a colder area in eastern US. I got back to my quarters and pulled out my atlas and I was shocked again. THIS was NO WHERE NEAR home!! WHY??? I give up. God had ideas? Long story short, I met my wife here, fell in love in the area and felt at home. I had gotten my pilot's license and made a of friends here and did date a few ladies some who also flew planes, we just did not connect but we had fun flying to places.
I was then stationed at Pope AFB, NC for most of the rest of my career and finally Little Rock AFB, AR. till I retired. WHY was I never allowed to be stationed nearer my old friends and aging parents? WHY did I have a desire to come back here to Delaware? For ONE my wife's family treated me well. They treated me as one of their own. I felt more at home here. I had no good memories of home and NO ONE had anything to do with me. THIS is why I am here.God has allowed me to have a comfortable, peaceful place in a small Mayberry kind of town. God knew I had suffered a lot of pain and rejection in my life and He knows I will do His will. He had plans for me. I feel this very much. I am just waiting for Him to let me go.
ere